Speaking of what tribe I come from, I am thrown with this conversation below. With intense.
People: Where do you come from?
Me: My Mom is from North Sumatra and my Dad is from West Sumatra. But I was born here (Jakarta).
People: Your Mom must be fierce?
Me: Hmm, not. She’s just strict. (Excuse me, fierce? You think my Mom is a shark?)
Well, most of people assume that North Sumatra people tend to have an aggressive background like, they hit, they speak rude, and they do blah blah blah. The main question is, “Is your assumption gained of your case that you live beneath the same roof with us?”
Let’s start here.
My grandpa, Abdul Aziz Nasution, came from Medan and married with my grandma, Musmini. My grandma came from Jakarta but she grew up in Medan too. So, both my grandparents were really strict. And my grandpa, his profession was an Army Military, so he implemented discipline in house, “This house has rules.” Based on the stories told by my Mom, sister of Mom and brother of Mom, either the daughters or the son, if they broke the rules, they would have a twisted-pinch until a blue tattoo left on their skins.
I would like to compare with my friend’s parents’ treatment. In 3rd grade, my friend didn’t make as the ranked one in class so she got slapped by a belt by her Dad and her Mom snatched her with broom stick. Mean? Although they came from West Java.
Due to my life experience, for 18 years I had been raised by a Medanese woman. She was firm and strict. Once she said no, it meant no. Never meant never. Don’t meant don’t. Must meant must. Til I cried rolling over the floor but she ignored me along. Tears couldn’t ever buy her compassion. Other people might think that my Mom was heartless. No, she did right. Done with tears, we had talk. She told me why she didn’t allow me to get this or to do that. Bribed with some snacks I like. As a kid, I thought that she was mean. My great enemy. But after I had grown up, then I understood, she had reasons behind this all. I never ask anything that is not too important. She just wanted me to use logic. At least, my mom never used her hands.
See? Can’t you define what any tribes use the hard way? No guarantee.
Therefore, in my opinion, as year goes on, people evolute. Today people must be softer, more polite and even smarter in many social life aspects. I think, it is common that men in earlier eras used that hard way in handling many things, including in educating their kids. But if you incidentally found some take rough acts, you should know that:
Any forms of temperament act are strong influenced by environment and experience that may effect the psychic of individual. There must be numbers of certain reasons. And it is also circumstanced by the not understanding people of behavior. And this is also applied for all people. And for all tribes. So, please don’t judge that North Sumatra people are hard.
Matter of fact, in the place where I belong, we all are compact, caring, embracing and lifting down people up even though they are not from the same blood. No matter if you are rich, high-positioned job, whoever or whatever you are, as long as a good relationship is built, there is a family. And you will be welcomed too. It really happens in mine. My uncle’s driver has been staying in his house until he got married and has three kids grown up, and I call him uncle. A good friend of our family, yes our family, he knows well all the family members, join the family gathering as well. I had thought he came from the same line until I asked my Mom.
But yes, North Sumatra people talk loud. When two are speaking, you think there are five. And also, we love fooooods. Infatuate to foods. I have that “skill.” And we tell much jokes too and love teasing each other. Things I see while gathering is laughing, laughing, and laughing. So much laughter and sharing many things. And the youth may join in conversation. And you have to greet anyone you face. Here priors polite.
On the other hand, the numbers of us love singing. From the day up to the next day will be counted on. But the main you need to remember, We are welcome every guests step into our houses. And we will get mad if you deny every banquet offered. We are high interested in social life.