Of the Whistleblower Assange by Dan Souder

Governments in charge of armies versing nerds! When governments feel anxious, they don’t seek big pharm, they seek to extinct.

Computer nerds have spread like ‘rona. The whistleblower Assange is a legendary nerd king. His subjects are nerd referees of the government’s illegal play.

The whistleblower Assange, as of this writing, is chained to a wall in a London dungeon called Her Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh. Her Majesty’s, lol. Catch up to the French already.

The whistleblower is jailed by Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Wettin. Her great-grandmum locked up good gay poets and sent convicts to Australia. The whistleblower Assange is some heap of nerd bogan. Marry man and country, Elizabeth. Use your sceptre.

And by the way, you exited from Europe, how bout exiting from Wales? Free the fuckin’ Welsh!

An Aussie in a royal prison. The whistleblower Assange and his Aspergian CS team were given news, and they put it on their killjoy website. Files were shared on the internet, if you can believe it.

Speculation! Perhaps every page posted by these mac ID spoofers caused the Hebdo massacre and whatever our mercenaries get away with in the Middle East. Or perhaps it caused the cops that won’t stop killing blacks, legal squatters imprisoned in São Paulo, Azerbaijan v. Armenia — or perhaps the website made the assertive elite’s profits sink, or caused school shootings in the states and school stabbings in Red China, or none of the above. We should know but.

Government’s anxious over nerds. Someone’s gotta pay for sharing their data plan. The whistleblower Assange should convert to C of E and claim religious persecution so he can get back to his grep pipes. Tell the government’s supporters that their goatees are magnificent, their places of worship too, and to think of the orphan processes that have been running since Assange was teleported out of Ecuador. He has not been able to log in and send a SIGINT to his nerd server. (Supporters love orphans. Won’t you please give?)

They voice their dulcet moaning to repressive subject matter, so we can’t assume they know the internet was born here in the USA. It’s as American as, as getting help from the Franks and Deutsch to defeat George Brunswick-Lüneburg. That’s how American the internet is. Government supporters defend their incomplete idea of America. They’ll defend this too. Internet = America.

Back in the UK, a lady judge who surely got this case through merit will deliver her verdict 1-4-21 whether the whistleblower Assange will be extradited westward to share accommodation with two million black guys.

Judge Dredd has nerdlings’ expectations high, having already ruled that neither Amnesty International nor Norway PEN (Poets, Essayists, and Novelists) can come inside the whistleblower’s hearing. Aye she deftly wields the Common Law.

Elizabeth S-C-G-W will be untroubled by this Professor of International Law (source): “Mr. Assange is not a citizen of the United States of America, and most of the charges levelled against Mr. Assange are drawn from the US Espionage Act. Espionage is not defined in international law.”

Speaking of four-eyed Tor drips, did you know that the whistleblower Snowden joined the US army infantry, after and because of 9/11? Neither did I! I feel like broadcasters are leaving something out. I know about that football player who joined because of 9/11, the one who got killed by his own troops. Or maybe not? There was some confusion there. The point is Snowden, a cryptographic hash cracker (mmm, hash cracker), stayed alive to share his data from the doorstep of Red China (lol). As far as we know, he can sit down at the Moscow Central Chess Club for some Slav defense against Bitter Lake star Putin, who checkmated Kasparov off the board, but cannot on.

We’re talking about Assange’s goobers sharing data they are given. Does the data have some horror juju for its viewers? US govt guy (source) said under oath the US has no proof that anyone died because of Julian Assange’s bewildering database fetish. “The counter-intelligence official in charge of investigating the impact of the Wikileaks disclosures couldn’t find a single instance of someone getting killed because of Manning’s leaks.”

On the other hand, Worker’s Party maladroits Lula and Dilma support the whistleblower Assange. So that’s not great.

1. It’s sensible to cause less suffering.
2. Where the law causes suffering, the law must be improved.
3. Whistleblowers improve the law.

Anyway, I would like everyone here to go up to a government supporter and hand them a drawing that a child drew. This breaks the ice. Ask them what’s going on and note the strawmen, no true Scotsmen, and moving goalposts they relay. Then ask them whether they could use $12,000 more a year (or whatever, you guys decide). I bet the answer’s yes.

Then tell them that if they can get 10,000 of their buds together on a Sunday for religion or for sports (mythology’s important), then they can get that many to go to their local party headquarters, whichever one they vote for, and ask very nicely for a candidate who will pass universal basic income into law. If a hundred thousand do this in major cities on the same day, I guarantee that they will get that kind of candidate, even if UBI is not part of the party’s usual repressive platform. UBI will be funded by the elite money hidden basically in Panama. It was our money to begin with.

Those new candidates will go back on their word, so get more folks together the next year and go line up again. Do everything politely. Keep repeating. The people will receive, by their own decision, universal basic income. To make this all go faster, the people should incorporate. With the flourish of a pen nib, a new Magna Carta would make the People’s Corporation the most powerful corporation in the world, with the public land, natural resources, and airwaves that it owns. We don’t want socialism, we want to compete in a Smithian market. Positive benefits to society will be grand, and will outweigh the assured tantrums by the sufferers of a heightened fear response.

It’s feudal fighting physics.